“I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10)
It is not easy to be a parent in modern times. On the one hand, there are numerous negative pressures from the media and various strata of society. On the other hand, there is a lack of support for families – perhaps particularly large families – when it comes to everything from threadbare leave policies to widening income inequality. When we are interacting with parents, are we actually supporting, encouraging, and affirming them? Occasionally, we say phrases such as the ones that appear below, some of which are even well-meaning, but perhaps we should rethink what we are saying in order to usher in a more pro-life culture.
1. What people say: “You sure have your hands full, don’t you!”
What parents hear: “Your children sure are a burden on you, aren’t they?”
Instead, say something like: “You have such a wonderful family!”
2. What people say: “Are you done having kids?”
What parents hear: “Society says that you have reached the maximum acceptable number of children.”
Instead, say something like: “Children are such a blessing.”
3. What people say: “Kids are so expensive!”
What parents hear: “Children are a commodity and an economic factor, not gifts from the Lord.”
Instead, say something like: “It is good for parents to be frugal and to make financial sacrifices when necessary.”
4. What people say: “Was this one planned?”
What parents hear: “Is your child a mistake?”
Instead, say something like: “Children are such a blessing.” (Notice a pattern?)
5. What people say: “You have one boy and one girl – perfect!”
What parents hear: “Children are collectibles.”
Instead, say something like: “Your children are wonderful.”
6. What people say: “Kids have such a large carbon footprint.” (Never mind that whoever says this is likewise a human being with his/her own [probably more significant] carbon footprint.)
What parents hear: “Children are mere biological entities, and are a drain on the environment.”
Instead, say something like: “Thank God that all environmentalists are humans, or otherwise we might really be in trouble.” (Perhaps don’t say this, but that would definitely be quite memorable. However, in the meantime, you can direct them to the noble efforts of the Population Research Institute.)
7. What people say: “Get sleep now. You’re going to be so tired!”
What parents hear: “Children are going to inconvenience you and make you miserable.”
Instead, say something like: “Stay positive and enjoy this time, because you will look back on it one day and actually smile.”
8. What people say: “I remember the days before I had kids.” (followed by a wistful sigh)
What parents hear: “My life was better before children.”
Instead, say something like: “Enjoy those special moments.”
9. What people say (to dads, while out in public with the kids): “I see that you’re being mom today!”
What dad hears: “It is abnormal for a father to spend time with his children, let alone responsibly.”
Instead, say: “Your wife is so fortunate.” (Well, perhaps this is a biased assessment, but see how it works out anyway.)
10. What people say: “Are all of those kids YOURS?”
What parents hear: “You have too many kids.”
Instead, say: “Your family looks like so much fun.” (Yes, indeed… and thank God for them!)
