Lent. Many people, especially outside the Catholic Church, don’t know that every rite in the Catholic Church initiates it and observes it a little bit differently. On Ash Wednesday, Roman Catholics just begin their Lenten journey while every year, Byzantine Catholics have already been at it for three days—and are probably craving more than chocolate. Here are 11 feels and struggles almost every Byzantine Catholic has probably experienced during Lent.
1. When someone innocently asks you “what you’re giving up” for Lent
Oh, just meat, dairy, oil, and alcohol. You know. Basically everything worth eating.
2. When you’re waiting till after Presanctified Liturgy to eat on the first Wednesday of Lent and the priest decides to make everyone stay for a long list of announcements after the benediction
WHY. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS. JUST LET ME GO HOME AND EAT MY BOILED VEGETABLES.
3. When your birthday is right in the middle of the season
Just stick a candle in the top of a boiled beet. Happy birthday to meeee…lolsob
4. When the weekend rolls around
Wine (and by extension alcohol) and oil are permitted on Saturdays and Sundays, praise the Lord. Pass the white zin, please.
5. When you take a second look at your calendar and realize your birthday is in the middle of Lent, but it falls on a Saturday or Sunday
BIRTHDAY BEER YAS
6. When you know this mortification of your body is good for your soul but YOU REALLY JUST WANT CHEESE OKAY
It’s like immediately after Clean Monday, hamburgers and queso just start throwing themselves at you.
7. When you start begging your vegan friends for recipes
You just want something that’s not boiled and/or a vegetable. Just once. You know there has to be some other way of consuming non-animal things, but you never bothered to learn them before Lent. Rookie mistake.
8. When you go out to eat with your non-Byzantine friends and chips and salsa is literally the only thing on the menu you can eat
“No, really, I just wasn’t that hungry.”
9. When stores put out Easter candy weeks in advance
The time is not yet right, you wonderful Cadbury creme egg. The time is not yet right.
10. When you get inundated with Valentine’s candy like, a week after Lent starts and you don’t know whether you should eat it because it’s a gift, or save it till Pascha.
11. When Holy Thursday Evening rolls around and you feel like a total shlub for complaining
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