13 Most Hilarious and Inspiring Quotes from the Popes – EpicPew

13 Most Hilarious and Inspiring Quotes from the Popes

What comes to mind when you think of requirements for someone who is to become the pope? A strong prayer life? Wisdom? Leadership skills coming out of their ears? How about a sense of humor? Many popes have had great senses of humor. Below are 13 of the funniest Pope quotes of all time.

Pope Leo XIII

To a man who, while thanking him for an audience, stated Pope Pius IX had also given him an audience just days before he died, Pope Leo XIII replied, “If I would have known that you were so dangerous for popes, I would have postponed our meeting for a few years!”

Pope Saint John XIII

“Italians come to ruin most generally in three ways, women, gambling, and farming. My family chose the slowest one.”

When asked how many people work at the Vatican: “About half”

When he overheard someone calling him fat: “Madame, I trust you understand that the papal conclave is not exactly a beauty contest.”

“It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about the serious problems afflicting the world and I tell myself, I must talk to the pope about it. Then the next day when I wake up I remember that I am the pope.”

To a young boy whom he was visiting in a hospital who stated he either wanted to be a policeman or a pope: “I would go in for the police if I were you. Anyone can become a pope, look at me!”

Pope Paul VI

After being shown his schedule for a particularly busy day: “There is only one thing lacking, at the end: the pope’s funeral!”

To a prelate departing on a mission to a cold country: “Remember Tartarin of Tarascon: Cover yourself with glory, but also … with flannel!”

Pope John Paul I

To his brother cardinals after they had elected him Pope: “May God forgive you for what you have done.”

“If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied harder.”

Pope Saint John Paul II

When Timothy Cardinal Dolan was Archbishop of Milwaukee, he told Pope John Paul II in a papal audience, “Holy Father, the Archdiocese of Milwaukee is growing and expanding!” To which JPII responded, “And so is its new archbishop!”

Saint John Paul II had a humorous response to Jim Caviezel’s joke about Jesus being Italian. You can watch Jim Caviezel’s interview on The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson here:


Pope Francis

To a member of the Swiss Guard who told Pope Francis he could not sit down and rest while on duty because of orders from his captain to stand at attention for Pope Francis’ protection: “Oh, is that so? Well, I’m the Pope and I am asking you to sit down.” Pope Francis disappeared for a moment and then returned with a sandwich.