20 Outrageous Headlines from Eye of the Tiber

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Who doesn’t love good satire? Especially when people in the comments don’t seem to understand the concept of satirical humor. As a Catholic I feel we are blessed with the works from Eye of the Tiber – this needs to grow. Future gifts for Catholic Dad’s everywhere need to be made from the content that website puts out. Whatever you do, do not skip the goldmine of humor there is to be found in the comments section under every post both on the website as well as their facebook page. In the meantime, here are some of our favorite headlines and stories that have stunned us into fits of giggles.

 

1. New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee in Red Cups

Why weren’t purple available for advent until December 24th?! READ HERE

 

2. Peter Jackson Announces Plans for 72-Part Movie Series of The Silmarillion 

Binge watching this series will not be for the weak. READ HERE

 

3. Catholic Dimwit Didn’t Even Know Wednesday Ashes Come from Cremated Pets

Just… no.

 

4. SSPX Acolyte Stumbles During Offertory; Mass Deemed Invalid

No picture, just trust us. Don’t trust us? Fine, READ HERE

 

5. Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

“A happy Jesus should come from the happy hands of a happy minister.” READ HERE

 

6. Man Angry That Only Women Can Become Female Priests

What about the men?! READ HERE

 

7. Eucharistic Minister Sanitizing Hell Out Of Hands Before Distributing Communion

handsanit_1

At least during flu season, please. READ HERE

 

8. Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

We’ve all experienced watching this happen. READ HERE

 

9. A Melancholy Pope Michael Still Waiting For U.S. Delegates, Welcoming Committee To Pick Him Up From D.C. Airport

Photo: AndrewHermez

Sad. READ HERE

 

10. Pope Michael I Announces Location Of Upcoming World Youth Day

Good neighbor, that Willie. READ HERE

 

11. Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

I mean, how rude?! READ HERE

 

12. Pope Retracts Punch In The Face Remark; Says He Would Kick Them In Nuts

They wouldn’t have expected that during the Year of Mercy. READ HERE

 

13. Kanye West Announces Bid For The Papacy

Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile. Photo credit: rodrigoferrari

What could go wrong? READ HERE

 

14. Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau

Syke. READ HERE

 

15. Vatican To Project Microsoft Bubbles Screensaver Onto St. Peter’s Whenever Basilica Not In Use

I laughed so hard my abs looked awesome the next day. READ HERE

 

16. Pope Infallibly Declares Nutella Overrated

Image: A.Kniesel

WHAT?!!!  READ HERE

 

17. New Eco-Friendly Church Using Biodegradable Chalice

CUP

Before Laudato Si, too.  READ HERE

 

18. Local Catholic To Substitute Medium Deep Dish Stuffed-Crust Pizza For Meat On Fridays During Lent

Fasting = pizza? Let’s recalculate this for a second. READ HERE

 

19. Benedict Breaks Silence With Letter To Atheist; Atheist Denies Existence Of Letter

Emeritus

Should have expected that. READ HERE

 

20. Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass

Gotta speak the next generation somehow. READ HERE

 

BONUS:

 

21. First Ever “World Geriatric Day” To Take Place In Boca Raton

Excited Old People

It’s about time, world youth day has been around for 30 years already. READ HERE

 

 

 

 

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