25 Reasons Natural Family Planning is a Terrible Idea

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Thinking of ditching the contraceptives and practicing Natural Family Planning?  Yeah terrible idea.  Here are 25 reasons why.

 

1. What is it some kind of religious type thing?

Everyone knows NFP is just some weird Catholic thing, right? I only participate in non-religious stuffs.

 

2. Non-Catholics think it’s great too.

I only participate in religious stuffs.

 

3. It’s free, how good could it be?

Paying for contraception means you know it works. Most of the time.

 

4. You’re actually gonna have to talk to each other now

I mean, if you actually WANT to talk to your spouse…

 

5. Even Cosmo says the pill isn’t all that great.

Wait…huh?! 

 

6. Why would any woman want to know how her body works?

Nature is a mystery and should stay that way.

 

7. Why would any man want to know how his wife’s body works?

 

8. It’s just weird

 

9. Plus, divorce is the new marriage

NFP pretty much ruins your chances.

 

10. NFP can be used to avoid and achieve conception?

Too good to be true, if you ask me.

 

11. Do NFP couples ever even get to…you know…

 

12. I mean, how many infertile days are there anyway?

 

13. And how does it even work anyway? Does anyone really know!?

 

14. Is there even an app for that?

It’s not like there are literally dozens, right?

 

15. But the Pope doesn’t even approve, does he?

16. Well what does he know, anyway…

 

17. Cuz I only listen to secular sources.

Like my trusty Business Insider.

 

18. Synthetic hormones make you like, stronger though, right?

 

19. And they’re totally safe

Totally.

 

20. And the pill only affects women anyway, right?

Because, bruh.

 

 

21. Why should men care about a woman’s cycle? Am I right, Bruh?

Let her deal with it.

 

22. My fertility is mine.  All mine.  MINE!

 

23. Respects God’s plan for the body and for life-giving love?

Meh. If you’re into that, I guess.

 

24. Can you even think of any positive things about NFP?

Like, any at all?

 

25. I rest my case. NFP is a terrible idea.

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