There are two types of Catholics: those who don’t see the big deal surrounding Halloween celebrations and those who are 1000% against it. Although it’s easy to respectfully decline participation in any Halloween activities if you fall into the latter category, some people may want to make their dislike for the day more well known. If you’re one of these people, let me remind you that the following list would be a good guideline to keep you from becoming the “crazy Catholic next-door.”
Here are 5 things you should not do as a Catholic who dislikes Halloween.
1. Blast holy water out of super soakers towards those dressed in immodest or ghoulish costumes
As tempting as it may be to thwart temptations or nightmares, please remember that there are actual human beings under those costumes.
2. Dress as a priest and try to exorcise anyone dressed as a witch or demon
You do not have the authority to exorcise anyone. You don’t even want to play with that. Just say “no.”
3. Yell “Repent, sinners!” out of a bullhorn or speakers whenever an unsuspecting child knocks on your door
Do you want to pay for their therapy? No? Then do it. Poor little ones will be scarred for life.
4. Hijack the neighbor’s Bluetooth speakers to play Mozart’s “Lacrimosa” when you start hearing any Halloween-themed songs
I may or may not be guilty of blasting this song when neighbors are drunk and playing obscene music in the wee hours of the night but don’t be that person when people are starting to do the “Monster Mash.”
5. Put up signs that read “Candy for Catholics in saint costumes only” on your lawn or front door.
Either no candy or be charitable and give candy to all. As a well-known Catholic apologist has been known to do, you can add a Divine Mercy or any other type of prayer card along with the candy if you want to use the moment to evangelize.
Whether you celebrate Halloween with trick-or-treating and a secular costume, prepare to celebrate All Saints Day, or (if you’re like me) choose to watch “Elf” in a darkened room with your own treats, I hope it’s a safe and pleasant day for you.
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