Common Misconceptions About Large Families

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  • They all stand around the piano each night and sing together, especially at Christmas and all major holidays. NOT. I am the youngest of 8, we had a piano and several of us are fairly musical. But it just never happened. Not at Christmas or any other time. Ever.

  • KarenJo12

    How about “the mothers are lobotomized zombies and the fathers all aspire to be Commanders of the Faithful in the Republic of Gilead?” That one is actually quite accurate.

    • Fran

      I don’t know whether to be amused or insulted…

      • KarenJo12

        I notice that neither of you argue against my assertion that fathers of large families desire to be tyrannical patriarchs. Please Google “The Handmaid’s Tale” and then tell me that these fathers don’t want to be Commander of the Faithful Fredrick Waterford.

        • Shaun McAfee

          Probaly because your assertion is silly, sophomoric, and uncharitable.

          • KarenJo12

            My statement may be all of those things, but is it false? All the fathers of more than three kids I’ve known in my life have been conservative martinets. All of the fathers of large families who blog or appear in the media are conservative martinets, determined to ensure that none of their dependents ever deviates from HIS opinion. So, can you show me one example of such a father who doesn’t want to be named Commander of the Faithful?

          • Me. The guy who wrote the blog post to start with. I don’t know where you are going with any of this. I am a stay at home dad raising 4(and counting) unique and independent minds. My wife travels and works hard to support us. Gender has absolutely nothing to do with our roles in this family. Maybe you need to read some new blogs. Mine is called Dougontap. It pretty much revolves around around my wife and I supporting one another and raising our family as one under Christ. I know nothing of the Commander of the Faith mentality. Have a good one.

          • Shaun McAfee

            Karen, if that’s true, that ALL of the fathers of +3 children are like that, then sure, you’ve got a decent sample size to have that opinion. However, you’re still generalizing, which isn’t fair to any good, loving, and respectable father regardless of the number of children he has. This generalization is the main flaw in your assertion and it’s so obvious, I can’t even believe you believe it. Let’s hope you get to meet one of these fathers who can show you some virtue.

        • Fran

          I think my husband would laugh hysterically at the concept that he is Commander of anything at home…. Or that he wants to be. You may want to talk to actual real people instead of getting your information from a fiction novel. If there is a conservative Martinet in my home, it’s me.

        • My favorite thing about this discussion is I a had an opportunity to think about all the fathers I know or have met with 2+ kids. All I know are good, patient, kind, and loving fathers. I have nothing but good examples to look up to. I know no fathers that rule with an iron fist and a scowl on their face.

        • Laurence Charles Ringo

          While I am not catholic, there are times when I feel compelled to defend my catholic friends, and this is one of those times. KarenJo12,”The Handmaid’s Tale”is a novel, so get yourself out of fantasyland.You may not understand or even approve of catholics having large families (which, unless YOU have to pay for them, shouldn’t be any of YOUR business anyway.), but unless you yourself have some meaningful interaction with these families that colors your view, your comments are rude, distasteful, and ill-informed. As Jesus said, “We speak that which we know and testify to that which we have seen”.Letting His Words inform your comments would be a better course of action than fantasy novels.–PEACE IN CHRIST.

    • Robert Franckevich

      “the mothers are lobotomized zombies”. I see you are member of “modern world” who thinks that anything over 2 children is “crazy”. Actually, being infatuated by feminists and other “prophets of modern wold” is more accurate to be called “lobotomized zombie”. You avoid even idea that people from big family can be more then retarded. I have 4 children in my family. My wife have Doctor degree in Medicine, I have Master degree in Computer Science. So, be more accurate about throwing insults around.

      • KarenJo12

        But don’t you want to be the absolutely authority Patriarch over your kingdom of people helplessly dependent on your good humor?

        • Mom

          Not sure where you are getting your information. I’m sure that some moms & dads can be overbearing but that does not mean that they all are. My husband of 23 years is a darling. We have eight children ranging in age from two to twenty-two and I have watched him over the years lovingly provide for them, play with them, educate them (whether at home or in private or public education – we have done them all), lead them by example, and just be an all-around awesome dad. Please, don’t judge the men who are doing it right by the ones who are doing it wrong. And, as for moms-of-many being “lobotomized zombies” I would beg to differ. I have worked as the administrative assistant to the CFO of an oil company and as an Optometric Technician among other things that require an IQ above room temperature. We have to be careful of painting with such broad brush strokes. =)

  • joeclark77

    I wonder if another one might be “They must have started when they were very young”. I don’t have a big family yet, just three kids, but it wouldn’t be impossible. One of the most frequent discouragements I hear is that it’s too late now (at 34 and 37), we should have started earlier. Is it really true, though? I think there are a number of cases of families that started late but grew quite large.

  • Fran

    Is it because you wanted a girl? (I have 5 sons.)

  • Sherry

    You must have WANTED a big family. You must be rich. You must be poor. You must be stupid. You must be rigid. You must not know what causes this…

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  • Nissa Robbins Gadbois

    That all large families are either wealthy or destitute.

  • Amanda

    I actually appreciate what Karen said. Thanks Karen, you made me love and appreciate my husband even more! Here’s why- while I am a Catholic (born and raised) my husband is not. He believes there’s a “higher power” but not the same God I do. We have 4 children, three on this earth and one who just went home to the Lord on Christmas day when I was 23 weeks pregnant. Our religious beliefs are not one in the same, but our moral beliefs of children, family and having a belief are. We raise our children Catholic and they attend Catholic school. Both of us work to make ends meet, but by no means is my husband the Patriarch over OUR kingdom. (Notice I said OUR) everything we do is together. We work to build a home together, we raise our children together, and yes we make choices for our children that we believe are right for their religion, together. While my husband isn’t catholic he does attend mass with us and he and I agree that giving them a good foundation and whole belief is what is best. Plus, when he married me he agreed that our children would share my religious beliefs. He is the “man” of our house if you will, but that means he provides for us, protects us and gives us security in our home and in our family. I chuckle a little inside because I am the one from am big family and if I could I would have children left and right, but that is not the case. So maybe I am the one….maybe I have zombiefied my husband! Lol!!!

  • Karyn

    I think it’s interesting that I live Baptist country and that the Duggars are so famous but when people find out we have six kids, they still usually ask – Are you Catholic? And I am happy to answer, yes, I am 🙂