Your feelings don’t always matter. Sorry, but it’s true. In fact, truth is more important than feelings. Offended? Good. This is for you.
To God Be All the Glory
It’s about Him, not you. Any Christian will agree with that, but how many of us are actually willing to live it out? If the glory belongs to God, and God alone, then why do we get antsy when our favorite songs change, or when someone sits in our pew? Do you go to a church based on how it makes you feel or on how the Lord is glorified?
If it’s the latter, you’re on the right track. If it’s the former, you might want to ask yourself a few questions.
- Is God being glorified in this act/song/thing?
- Is everything being done in alignment with the Church’s teachings?
- Am I upset because it’s not how I like it, or is the Lord being blasphemed in some way?
By all means, if you feel something is truly incorrect according to the Catholic Faith, speak to your priest right away. But if you’re upset that they changed the color of the paint, or started singing songs you don’t know, or even changed prayer groups to a different night, you might not want to die on that hill.
Be present
There are many aspects of Christian life and the most beautiful and sacred is praying the Mass. The Mass isn’t about where you sit, what version of a hymn you sing, or whose hand you shake (or not), or even how good a homilist the priest is. (Priests everywhere are relieved.)
Mass is about reliving Jesus’s great love for us in his sacrifice on the cross. It’s about recounting a story from the Old Testament, responding to that as a community, hearing what God is teaching, and opening our minds and hearts to the gospel. Whether we feel good or guilty, moved or bored, the important thing is to hear what God is saying to us.
Next, the most important part of the Mass, what makes it more than a service, is the Holy Eucharist. We put ourselves at the Last Supper and at the foot of the cross. There were many people long ago on that day unaware of the weight of what was happening and they walked by, shook their heads, or even wept bitterly. Jesus on the cross wasn’t dependent on their feelings or reactions but upon his own action. It’s his sacrifice, not how you feel in the moment, that’s filled with grace, mercy, and love. Whether you feel something or not, it’s there and so you should be there too.
Feelings aren’t facts
No matter how we argue that a potato is an apple, when we finally bite into it, we’ll know. No matter how we argue that the gash on our leg is fine and we don’t need help, we will eventually lose enough blood to pass out or at least be unable to walk. Sometimes truth hurts, but denial is far more damaging.
We try to walk upright, not showing our weaknesses. Or maybe we show them in a way to belittle their effect on us. Or perhaps we show the effect in a way to attract attention. However we play it, we are all weak, all subject to sin and mistakes and judgment, and all invited to His forgiveness.
“All fall short,” Paul tells us in Romans 3:23. Instead of finding fault in others, perhaps we decide to find goodness and grace instead. If someone points out the splinter in your eye, consider they see something you may be ignoring. Try humbling yourself and thanking them.
We’re simply not always right, even if our feelings are hurt. God’s grace gives us the ability to find truth in pain, forgiveness in love, and healing in mercy. Healthy and loving dialogue leads to a better community.
Have a humble heart
So, whether you’re a traditionalist and scoff at those no folks, or you’re a new-ager and roll your eyes at the Traditional Latin Mass – most of us are somewhere in between – ask yourself this: “Am I, in this very moment, being Christlike and honoring the Lord? Is there a great wrong happening for which I must be the champion to fix it?”
Honestly, maybe there is. So, how can you do it with love? God speaks all the love languages and we simply do not. Check your feelings and opinions at the door and come to the table, the prayer meeting, the altar, the whatever-it-is with as Christlike a humble and honest heart as you can. He’s teaching each of us at every moment. If we don’t react rashly based on feelings, and instead speak honestly and kindly, and listen openly, we will hear him more clearly.
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