Lenten Survival Guide for People Who HATE Fish

My Lutheran grandfather seems to be under the impression that during Lent, Catholics must eat fish on Fridays. Every time I visit him in Arizona during Lent, I am forced to explain the facts to him. Sometimes he understands, but other times I end up eating fish, even though I despise fish with a fiery passion.
My distaste for fish is completely reasonable. After all, the ocean is basically a giant toilet, and every year Catholics are faced with the unpleasant task of choosing between eating a creature that was once swimming in the giant toilet and scrambling to find a non-fish, meatless meal. But… that’s just me. If you’re like me, then I have your survival guide.
Here is a guide for Catholics who, like the sharks in Finding Nemo, view fish as friends, not food:

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1. Pizza

It may seem boring to go with this option, but one does not have to settle for just a plain cheese pizza. Mix it up a little bit. There are many meatless toppings for pizza. For example, green olives taste fantastic on pizza.

2. Grilled Cheese

Again, this does not have to be a boring choice. There many different types of cheese. Try using pepper jack cheese. It will blow your mind.

3. Pasta

There are a variety of meatless sauces out there. Pair that with your favorite noodles and some garlic bread, and you have got a fantastic meal on your hands.

4. Alligator

In 2010, Archbishop Gregory M. Aymond informed one member of his archdiocese that alligator is permissible to consume during Lent because it is considered seafood. Be adventurous.

5. Brinner

Brinner is when breakfast foods are consumed for the evening meal. When the door to brinner is opened the possibilities increase dramatically: cereal, pancakes, french toast, eggs (Yes, you can eat eggs, even though they are “almost chickens.” One year, there was a debate in my house over this issue, and we had to call my uncle the priest to settle it).

6. Soup

Soup is one of the more underrated foods available, and the internet has plenty of meatless and fish-free soup recipes. It is also worth noting that meat-based broths are not technically forbidden. Some examples of great meatless soups: vegetarian chili, French onion, beer cheese, and tomato.

7. Salad

Oh, come on! It is not that bad. You might even grow to like it.

8. Mac & Cheese

It’s not just for college freshman! In recent years, gourmet versions of mac & cheese have become more prevalent. However, the standard Kraft mac & cheese is still hard to beat.

9. Mexican

Many of Mexico’s most delicious dishes are just as delicious without meat. Also, quesadillas have to be one of the easiest foods to make.

10. Mozzarella Sticks

Fried cheese? OK, you have talked me into it.


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