The Little Sisters of the Poor lost their latest battle in court on July 14, 2015. They were previously able to obtain a temporary stay from the Healthcare Mandate from Justice Sotomayor, but that has now been overturned by the 10th Circuit Court of Appeals court, meaning they must, in accord with the Affordable Care Act, provide contraceptives as “basic medical care”. The IRS fines for not complying with the mandate could top $2.5 million per year for the non-profit, Catholic religious order! The Sisters and their lawyers are considering their options moving forward, but should they choose to not fight up to the U.S. Supreme Court, maybe they should just embrace their new “free” contraceptive products and find other uses for these items that are totally useless to them.
1. Bonfire!
They could take advantage of their new “free” contraceptives and have an annual celebration on the day they lost in court. They can collect all of the contraceptives the Sisters can now receive for free all year and use them as fuel for their bonfire! They should probably build a separate wood burning fire to roast the marshmallows on, just saying…
2. Nuva-Ring Toss
Don’t let anyone tell you those Sisters do not like to have fun at the Convent and in their nursing care facilities! Just set up some bottles and let’s get this party started! They can even give free Bibles to the winners!
3. Trojan Horse
They could build a true “Trojan Horse” out of all the Trojan condoms they now have free access to. They could send it to the courthouse and have Bibles, Rosaries, pamphlets on the Church’s view of contraception and abortifacients, and other religious items fall out. Who knows, it might actually convert someone!
4. Sand Art
Those Sisters can be quite crafty. “The Pill” comes in a rainbow of colors, which the can be sorted and ground up. Then during craft time, they can allow the elderly fill glass jars using the ‘sand’. They could even have kids who come to visit the nursing homes help out and make their own creations. They would make lovely gifts! (This is a joke…kids probably shouldn’t be playing with carcinogenic hormones, no matter how fun…)
“Plan B”
If that doesn’t work out, they can grind up the pills again, and make these lovely jar candle holders.
5. Diaphragm Cup Covers
What better way to keep the flies out of your drink while outdoors praying to the Lord than covering your cup with a rubber cover? It even holds on tight (could we even say “air tight”?) and won’t blow away in the wind. Of course, you should still be careful with that hot drink, since these have a 20% failure rate.
6. Small Item Bags
Female condoms are nothing more than small, sterilized plastic baggies, so why not use them for small items that the Sisters wouldn’t want to lose? They are the perfect size to hold Rosaries and other small religious items. They shouldn’t rip or tear (there’s about a 5-10% chance of that), and if they do, it’s free to get more!
7. IUD Christmas Hangers
This may be a stretch, but check it out. Just tie an ornament to the ‘string’ portion of the IUD, and use one of the top ‘prongs’ to hook it on the tree. This is a much better use of these than what they are being marketed for, and no health risk to any women. Can I get an “Amen”!
8. “The Patch” Band-Aid Craft
This awesome idea comes straight from Pinterest. Its another craft time project, but it also can be healing. All the Sisters will have to do is cut the patches into strips, and then while ministering to the poor and the broken, they can have them place a “band-aid” on the cross. Jesus does heal all our wounds. Again, a much better use for the product than its intended use.
God bless the Little Sisters of the Poor in their worldwide ministry, in their fight to practice what they believe and for fighting for religious freedom. To contact and support the Little Sisters of the Poor, check out their website at https://www.littlesistersofthepoor.org/
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