If you’re reading this article, odds are that you are, indeed, a Catholic. You go to confession, attend Mass, and observe all the precepts of the Church. But . . . we came up with some fun questions to see how Catholic you really are.
You know you’re Catholic when…
You stare at your fridge and pantry thinking you have no food at all and you feel a strange compulsion to cross yourself and say, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned”
Guilt is a regular feeling, perhaps your best friend . . . and you feel obligated to share it with others
You genuflect before entering your seat at the theater . . . whoops
You only crave hamburgers, tacos, and steaks on Fridays during Lent and you crave fish every other day in Lent, just never on Fridays. Double bonus if you abstain for meat all year and the same happens
You make the sign of the cross when you pass in front of a Catholic church . . . or (accidentally) by any church that has a saint’s name and looks Catholic
Just about every special interest group in the country hates your guts. It’s always open season on Catholics in the media
You have an overwhelming compulsion to say, “And with your spirit,” when Yoda says, “May the Force be with you.”
Someone asks you your favorite Madonna song and you say “Hail Holy Queen”
You hide anti-Catholic books in the library and bookstore behind other books on the shelf
You have to remember which bottle has the holy water and which bottled has the water for drinking
You cross yourself or pray a Hail Mary when you hear a fire truck or ambulance siren
You have a rosary hanging from your rear view mirror
You have a holy water fountain next to your front door and a religious picture or crucifix in almost every room
One of your crucifixes has, at least, five years-worth of dried out palms stuck behind it
You spend the first five minutes of the day untangling your scapular from your Miraculous Medal
Your coworkers point out that you have something on your face the same day every year
You have a “favorite” religious order
You’ve accidentally made the sign of the cross when leaving regular buildings
You can name off at least one full set of the Joyful, Glorious, Sorrowful, or Luminous mysteries
You consider your rosary to be your spiritual weapon
You’ve memorized the St. Michael the Archangel prayer and recite it when you feel tempted by sin
One or more of your friends entered a seminary or a convent
You believe in Purgatory and know it’s important to pray for the souls who are currently in Purgatory
You have your own designated/preferred seat at Mass
You ask a priest to come and bless your house with holy water when you move in
The word “vocation” to you does not simply mean “job”
You say “God bless you” anytime anyone sneezes, out of habit
You mentally correct every textbook use of “BCE” and CE” with “Before Christ” and “Anno Domini”. You also mentally capitalize every written use of the word “God” and “Mass”
You hear someone’s name read off, you think in your head “pray for us”
You plan what to wear based on the liturgical color of the day
Instead of change, you find a rosary under your couch cushions
You look at this list and laugh because you know it’s all (or most of it is) so true
So, just how many of these Catholic things did you check off?
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