Top 10 Headaches of a Catholic Mother, Part II

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Not that they ever happened to me…

That sound of tearing paper while you are holding the hymnal

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(Just like nails on the chalk board!)

That feeling you have when you sneak the torn hymnal back into the book holder

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(Oh boy, I’m so sorry for the next person who needs that page)

When you try to distract your daughter during the Consecration and tell her to look at Jesus, and she yells, “Where’s Jesus?”

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(Good thing I’m kneeling and I can just shrink down to the floor)

When he tells you he has to go potty right before communion…what do you do???

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(Yes! I left on the Pull-Ups!)

You start to hear talking that sounds like Elmo, when you look down and realize your 2 year old found your phone and started watching videos

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(I know, he is very bright knowing how to use my phone at such a young age!)

Walking back to your pew after Communion while your son is crying at you, “I want one too!”

 

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(No worries, you’ll get to in second grade – I know that means nothing to you now.)

When your infant lets out a loud “BURP” (or gas!!) right after the words, “Let us pray”

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(Amen?)

You tell your daughter to “Sit quietly or else you’re going to take them out of church.” She doesn’t so you try to secretly sneak them out, when she start’s yelling, “I’LL BE QUIET!!!!”

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(I wish we were in a soundproof invisible bubble!)

The look on the face of the guy who wanted to take his baby to the cry room, and notices that you are breastfeeding

(Then quickly leaves)

(Haha! Like you haven’t seen your wife nurse your baby!)

When your younger son thinks it’s funny to sing to his older brother, “Al-le-LOUIE! Al-le-LOUIE!”

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(Don’t laugh, just don’t laugh, that will encourage him.)

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