Chewing gum
Reverence much? This restriction on gum chewing fits into the obligation that we not eat or drink anything (save for water) for atleast an hour before receiving Holy Communion (the Eucharistic fast). If it’s edible and you swallow it, you’re not fasting. Sure, you might not swallow the whole of the gum, but you swallow the part that dissolves. No, this isn’t scrupulosity.
Receiving Communion after unconfessed mortal sin
This is no joke. According to Scripture, people have died for receiving with the improper disposition, and no disposition is so improper as being in a state of mortal sin. Please, go to Reconciliation, and don’t even bother with scheduled times. Get thee to a rectory ASAP, or maybe just show up to Mass 30 minutes [yes, 30] early and ask for Reconciliation.
Clapping at the end of Mass
I’ll tell you what I want to clap right now…! Papa Emeritus wrote this before his pontificate:
Wherever applause breaks out in the liturgy because of some human achievement, it is a sure sign that the essence of liturgy has totally disappeared and been replaced by a kind of religious entertainment.
For the love of God — literally — don’t clap after Mass.
Relying on the priest as though he is cuing the people what to do and say
In case you haven’t grasped this yet, the priest is not there to guide you through a lengthy routine of gestures, words, and postures. This isn’t an exercise class. The priest is there to celebrate sacred mysteries. He’s going to do the work of God, the liturgy, whether you are present or not. If it helps, just imagine that he has his back to you (ad orientem).
Rushing through the motions
What’s the difference between thoughtfully drawing three tiny crosses on your head, lips, and heart, and doing it with the speed of a man on speed? Let the words and gestures wash over you. Think about them. Relish them. Thank God that you get to do them and join in the worship of the Catholics who lived almost two millenia ago.
Wearing revealing clothes
I don’t think you understood the call to lay yourself bare before God. Revealing clothing is distracting, sure, but that’s not the worst of it. It’s an offense against the virtue of modesty. Those sweatpants with writing across the bum draw attention to said bum, and present an opportunity for temptation. Build up other parts of the Body, don’t trip them up. Also, respect the solemnity, right?
Playing on your phone
Oh, I’m sorry, is the presence of God Almighty not enough to hold your attention? Do you find the Word of God and the sacred mysteries of the Church established by the Incarnate God boring? Stop. Just stop. This verges on sacrilege, and the best thing to do right now is leave that little black box in your car, lest a priest confiscate it and “accidentally” drop a thurible on it.
The half-a-genuflect
Do you half shake hands too? Maybe you half high-five. What does it feel like to half hug? Awkward, huh? “How do you know if you genuflected?” Did your knee touch the floor? Yes, good. No — Fail! You are never in a more holy or sacred moment than at Mass, in the presence of Jesus the Christ. On our knees is where we belong.
Not striking your breast at the Confiteor
Who told you this was optional? We don’t all have our acts totally together, so how abouts we get our acts together and start acknowledging not having our acts together. “Through my fault [pound],. through my fault [pound], through my most grievous fault [pound]…” Let this remind you that it ought to hurt your heart when you offend God.
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