* A guest post by Laura Manfredi
Planning a wedding for anyone can be a trying time for anyone and a Catholic wedding requires a great deal of preparation. Between the readings and rings, music and Eucharistic ministers, there’s a lot to figure out about BEFORE the party starts. People can be so well meaning, but some suggestions are better left unsaid… especially when they’re not all that familiar with Catholic weddings.
1. “Can you make sure the ceremony isn’t too long? I want to get to the party!!”
Sure…I’ll just speed up the wedding portion of my wedding!
2. “Can we do shots in the little room with all the robes?”
Um…no. The vestibule is not a place to pre-game.
3. “You’re not writing your own vows? Don’t you want it to be personal?”
Nothing is more personal than my faith. Plus, I’d rather my fiancé not wing it today. I’ll leave it to the professionals.
4. “I don’t know if I could have a dress with sleeves. I would feel like I’m in a straight jacket.”
Have you ever worn sleeves? Personally, I can move rather freely with full range of motion. Maybe you should find some better sleeves. Or clothes that, you know, fit. I hear natural fibers are quite breathable.
5. “Please don’t have 1 Corinthians 13 as one of your readings. EVERYONE does it and it’s so boring.”
You’re probably right, the love of Christ, Lord and Savior, God Incarnate, King of the Universe, Alpha and Omega is soooo boring.
6. “Your dress is way too pretty to kneel in. Can you ask the priest if you can do something else?”
Dear Jesus, I know you suffered and died for my sins and all, but kneeling is just too inconvenient…I’m too pretty today.
7. “Why does the priest talk so much? Doesn’t he know it’s not about him?”
Maybe you should be doing some listening.
8. “Does there really have to be so much talk about babies…I mean give it some time.”
A married couple having babies? ABSURD!!
9. “You should totally have an 80’s hair metal song be your exit song.”
Your invitation should totally get lost in the mail.
10. “You know you’re not allowed to divorce right?”
Good. I don’t plan to.
*Laura Manfredi is a wife and new mother from the San Francisco Bay Area. She has her BA in Theatre Arts and a multiple-subject teaching credential from Notre Dame de Namur University. She taught second grade for two years, where she was given a lot of on the job training with little people. She was baptized in the Catholic Church at the Easter Vigil 2012, coming from a relatively secular early life. When not being mommy or working in the library at Marin Catholic College Preparatory she enjoys yoga, baking, and sleep; lots of sleep.
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Wow, I could add a bunch to these, but these are really excellent. Questions asked of the Priest right before the wedding:
1. Hey Padre, want a shot of Jack with me and my dad?
2. Whattup. I’m the photographer. I’m going to ask you to step out of the way during the wedding so I can get some good angles. No problem, right?
3. OK, I’m the Wedding Coordinator (she doesn’t work for the Church). These Catholic ones are always so #&*!@ long, but whatever… listen, fella, I’m going to dim the lights and put up a few more candles, like OK? Thanks. Love ya!
4. Wow, big guy, you’ve never missed a meal, have you? Don’t eat too much at our reception, we can only afford one plate per person. Kidding!!!
5. (During the wedding the Bride says) OMGT, Is this about over?
Wow, I can only imagine what penance the prewedding meetings must have been.
How about this? Once I had a couple not want to get married in the Church because (and I quote) the “crucifix is such a negative death-dealing symbol.” The one and only time in my priestly ministry I lost it in front of the person.
Hahahahahaha
yeah, it’s crazy how many people call the church office to see if they can “book” the Catholic Church for a non-Catholic wedding. “uh, we just want a pretty place, we’ll have our own pastor there” WOW.