Since you obviously won’t be visiting the Vatican, perhaps you are thinking of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception instead. Not so fast, my friend:
1. The doors are really heavy
2. There’s nowhere to sit
3. You might get lost looking at one of the 100+ side altars
4. The ceilings are so low that you might find it stuffy
5. There are no nearby opportunities for education
6. The stairs will tire you out
7. There is a complete lack of artwork
8. The Mass schedule is a little bare
9. …And so are the opportunities for Confession
10. Your fingers might prune from all the Holy Water
11. No one cool ever plans to visit there
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12. The Basilica is located in a no-name city
13. You might burn yourself on the votive candles
14. The architecture stinks
15. The choir sounds terrible
16. Rust. It’s rusty.
17. Nothing else is ever going on nearby
18. The basement is pretty bland
19. Marian apparitions are hardly represented
20. It is so big you might get lost
Need more convincing? Just look at this virtual tour. Does the Basilica really seem like a place you want to visit?