34 Reasons to Never Visit the Vatican – EpicPew

34 Reasons to Never Visit the Vatican

By Ryan Mayer / May 11, 2015

So you’re thinking of visiting the Vatican? Not so fast, my friend:

1. It’s crazy hard to find

https://qahn.org/files/quebecanglophoneheritagenetwork/images/getinline.jpg

2. And crazy hard to get to

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/05/Rome_6532.jpg/1024px-Rome_6532.jpg

3. It’s not like you can just walk right up to it

4. Let alone drive

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c6/Rom,_Vatikan,_Blick_auf_den_Petersdom_(von_der_Via_della_Conciliazione).jpg

5. The architecture is worthless

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/67/Bernini_Colonnade_at_St_Peter’s_Square,_Rome_-_2626.jpg

6. And thoroughly unimpressive

https://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-100304-rome-NEW/ss-100304-rome-09.ss_full.jpg

7. Seriously, who designed this anyway?

8. And really, if you’ve seen one statue you’ve seen them all

https://4.bp.blogspot.com/_KMSJtbsT_xs/TLxOt1lmTnI/AAAAAAAAD6E/whCpaZGYRHk/s1600/photo-734560.jpg

9. #onehitwonder, hahaha…am I right?

https://mvschulze.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/81.jpg

10. The artwork…blech

https://media.zenfs.com/en_us/News/ap_webfeeds/bed83863b07d8d1e1f0f6a70670042ec.jpg

11. Uninspiring

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/ac/Creaci%C3%B3n_de_Ad%C3%A1m.jpg

12. Christians especially would do well to stay away

https://insidethevatican.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/3IMG_7143-X.jpg

13. Christmastime is nothing special

https://italytravelista.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Christmas-Mass-at-the-Vatican.jpg

14. Neither is Easter

https://media.hamptonroads.com/cache/files/images/1802251.jpg

15. There’s just nothing for them there

https://d2jkk5z9de9jwi.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/PA-16693861.jpg

16. The inside of the Basilica is soooo small

17. They should at least use it for something important

https://www.marcodilauro.com

18. Something that will change lives or something

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/

19. No one famous is buried here*

https://www.glanmireparish.ie/

20. No one

https://www.fatherdaniel.net/

21. Not a single important person

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/98/Reliquienschrein_Papst_Johannes_XXIII_-_Petersdom.jpg

22. What does this place even commemorate, does anyone even remember?

https://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/840804.jpg

23. Sure, you can climb the dome, but is it really worth the effort?

https://persbaglio.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/places-054.jpg

24. Don’t get me started on the lack of museums

https://focusfoto.com.br/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Enio-Leite-Vaticano.jpg

25. Everyone is miserable

https://darkroom.baltimoresun.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/AFP_Getty-163552098.jpg

26. There’s no cultural diversity at all

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/de/Wydrome2000.jpg

27. It’s totally unsafe

nbcnews.com

28. There’s no green space whatsoever

https://missionaryteresa.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/dscn5982.jpg

29. No one interesting to see

https://www.todayscatholicnews.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/14POPEAUDIENCE14927.jpg

30. It’s a ghost town

https://www.romannews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Crowd-in-Saint-Peters-Square-for-John-Paul-II-Beatification.jpg

31. It’s even worse at night

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/14/Basilica_di_San_Pietro_(notte).jpg

32. It’s not near anything else worth visiting

https://www.awesomestories.com/images/user/a989440238.jpg

33. A cultural and historical void.

https://wallzoa.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/colosseum-at-night.jpg

34. Whatever you do, do NOT visit the Vatican

https://farm7.staticflickr.com/6178/6169182974_1363e364d8_o_d.jpg

* This tomb now reads “Sanctus”.

About The Author

Ryan Mayer

A “revert” to the faith, Ryan teaches theology at Marin Catholic College Preparatory in the San Francisco Bay Area. He earned a BA from Mt. Angel Seminary in philosophy, theology, and literature and an MA in theology & bioethics from Holy Apostles College & Seminary, as well as certification in health care ethics with distinction from the National Catholic Bioethics Center. He has been published in National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly and has also written for the Dead Philosopher’s Society blog. He is currently completing a MA in philosophy and a licentiate in bioethics from a Pontifical university in Rome. His areas of interest include bioethics, apologetics, pro-life issues, and science & the New Atheism. Ryan also enjoys food, Legos (but who can afford it?), home-brewing, and is a CS Lewis/GK Chesterton-phile. Follow Ryan: @RyanCMayer

7 thoughts on “34 Reasons to Never Visit the Vatican”

Shaun Alexander McAfee
May 11, 2015 at 7:47 am

ABSOLUTELY PERFECT

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Shannon Marie Federoff
May 11, 2015 at 6:11 pm

You forgot about all the little old ladies (widows) in black. They are NO THREAT at all, I tell you…. unless you are standing between them and the Pope. Then, they will knock you to the ground.

Reply
1. navyenduring
  May 26, 2015 at 9:46 am
  
  so true! I am of Italian heritage and this really made me laugh.
  
  Reply
newguy40
May 12, 2015 at 11:04 am

Very nice. Thanks!

Reply
Anthony
May 13, 2015 at 5:56 pm

I have to say that I clicked on the article because I was a bit confused, but happy I did. I’m going to Rome, so thanks for the warning. I’ll be sure to avoid the place. I hear there are some ruins around to see.

Reply
MarcAlcan
May 26, 2015 at 10:33 pm

Not to mention the real danger of being siloed by God … just there.
Beauty can be quite seductive..

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