Have more than 1-2 kids? Then you have heard “You sure have your hands full,” more than enough times. For the most part, I believe people are being friendly. But then there are the people with terrible timing. The ones that see you struggling and say something at the worst possible time. Not to mention the people with that hint of disapproval in their voice.
If you are tired of giving the same ole lame response, (“You should see how full my heart is.”, “Yes we are truly blessed.”) here are some better responses. You may not want to say some of them out loud, but you can at least enjoy them in your head or in polite company. (Oh, and some of these were given to me on Facebook. They are not all mine.)
“I want to make sure there are plenty of people who vote like me when I am gone.”
“We’ll stop when we make an ugly one.”
“But have you SEEN my spouse?”
“Thank you captain obvious.”
“We are building an army for world domination.”
“It’s my only real talent.”
“Our TV is broken.”
“I am addicted to being called Dad.”
“We are still trying to figure out how this happens. Can you explain it to me.”
…and to quote Jim Gaffigan: “Yeah, but IÂ can still punch you in the face!”
I agree that many of these people are being friendly. I like to joke, “Well, someone has to generate enough future taxpayers to save social security!” But when I get the disapproving, judgmental tone, my standard response is “Better full than empty!” It works wonderfully, always stumps them and makes the point well. That said, I would caution against making this type of comment around others who may be suffering from infertility. I regularly use it one-on-one or in situations where it won’t be overheard, but not in front of a lot of people/strangers for that reason. I’m still working on a clever, one-line response to the environmentalists and those claiming that the world is over-crowded.
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Yep… the mom with the most kids wins. 😉
My new fave
My philosophy exactly! You stole my comeback!? What gets me is that I come from a HUGE Catholic family but most of my cousins had a convenient 1-3. I get the “are you going to have anymore?” from them more than from total strangers. I have one cousin who did have 7 so I just say somebody had to give Dan a run for his money!
I have 8. So far!
When asked or told that my hands are full, I say
We have heard it all. My favorite is “You do know what causes that right?!” I usually just say “Of course we do.” The give them a wink and a big smile.
Hahaha! Great job, Doug!! This reminded me of our Iowa RTL 2010 newsletter :
After another daughter after 18 years, people would say, “Starting all over again?” To which I retort, “No, I’m finishing-up.”
To the same wife I also had to add as they assume otherwise.
Hey Doug, you are in the big leagues now eh!!! 😉
My family, with 4 kids, was recently joined in an elevator by an older man who said, “I don’t think I have enough fingers to count them!”
It took everything I had not to say something like, “Oh no! What happened to your other 7 fingers?!”
I had someone once tell me to put a TV in my bedroom.
I told him that if he’d rather watch TV he was doing it wrong.
burn
When they ask “are they all yours?”; I usually respond with “No, I hired ten of them to fill the bus I drive and for effect”
For the rude, snarky, or generally insensitive, my response to people’s shock at seeing 7 children is… “Hey, everybody’s gotta have a hobby.”