Did you know that nuns are totally boring? They never do anything fun or interesting. I mean, there’s a reason why you never see them out of the convent. They’re probably praying 24/7, completely closed off from the world so they can’t even relate to us in any way.
1. They’re totally out of touch with social media
Nuns are out of touch with media. That’s why you never hear of any “Media Nuns.”
2. They never appear on television
For sure they’re not appearing on cooking show competitions…
… and even if they did, they certainly wouldn’t win the competitions and then use that money to pay off their convent’s debts.
3. They have no musical talent
Music competitions? Forget it about it! It’s all Gregorian chants for them! They certainly don’t enter any singing competitions…
… much less win them. If they did, they totally wouldn’t ask the audience to pray an “Our Father” after their win either.
Lip-synching and dancing along to a song that was then uploaded to YouTube? Nope. They wouldn’t do that either.
Read more: A Rockband of Nuns? Nunsense
4. They don’t go anywhere near the sports world
… or football. They certainly don’t have fun hashtags like #SuperBowlinTheConvent. And they totally do not take over Twitter during sporting competitions.
Whoever heard of nuns partaking in sports anyway?
Nuns showing their boxing skills for a good cause? How dare you suggest it!
It’s no wonder women don’t want to leave their glamour lives to become nuns.
An Olympian speed skater turned nun? Nope.
5. They had boring lives before the convent, too
A Hollywood movie star who was once called “the next Grace Kelly” leaving her glamorous career behind? Didn’t happen.
What is that you say? A model gave up her career to become a nun? Get thee to the confessional because you must be lying!
Hold up… a NASA engineer leaving her career for a Church that clearly hates science? Not you’re talking nonsense!
6. Hollywood doesn’t even bother with boring nuns
The poor dears. I hope they find some ways to have fun.
In case you missed the memo: this article was not to be taken seriously because, duh, nuns are some of the best, most joyful people in the world. You go, nuns!